Dévi Sok

DÉVI SOK

Dévi Sok and I met for the first time somewhere in the 2000’s, when I was still running around town in 4 inch heels, as the fashion director of 34 Magazine, and Dévi was still a PR Consultant.

It was at the Charles Jourdan showroom, an iconic French shoe brand, that lost its luster, probably at the same time 34 Magazine ceased publication.

I had to pick up a few pair of heels for an upcoming shoot, and Dévi was there, dressed in a white shirt. It must have been spring time in Paris, because apart from that white shirt, a pair of heels and a bright shining aura, she wasn't wearing much else. Holly Golightly-Meets-Carry Bradshaw on a petite Parisienne of Cambodian/American descent. Needless to say she looked stunning!

Fast forward to the year 2020. I left fashion editing to a new kind of species, called Instagram Influencers, and built a few businesses instead. I've also replaced my 4 inch heels and LBD's with jeans, hoodies, trainers, and surf body suits. Dévi in the meantime, has become a successful independent luxury event and fashion show producer for the likes of Vetements, Vivienne Westwood, L'Oréal, The Cannes Film Festival, and Chopard, to name a few. And apart from raising Kalani (19, she also became the mother of Malia (6) and Moana (6).

This summer she will marry Sebastien de Brito, managing director of Totem Fashion, and the father of the twins. They just moved from Pigalle area, to the 8th arrondissement of Paris. And being the avid surfers they both are, they bought a piece of land and build a house on the west coast of France, in Hossegor, where they are currently confined with all three children.

Oh, did I forget to mention that 2020 is also the year of a virus that took over the world, and brought it to its knees? True story, no kidding.

And what do you do, when a virus, with same name, as a beer you normally drink with a slice of lemon, locks you up at home? You tell stories. Or at least I do. So, here is dévi's. The first in the series, called “Mothers in Confinement.”

By The Bizz Bae

April 20, 2020 • 17 min read

Dévi and her team at Fashion for Relief, in 2018

Dévi at the beach in Hawaii.

Dévi with her three children.

Can you tell me what restrictions French residents are living under, and how it affects your life with your family in Hossegor ?

Dévi : Since March 17th, like all French people, we have been ordered to stay at home, and bring a signed confinement form with us, every time we go out. It allows us to go out for a walk or bike tour with the children, within a 1 km perimeter around the house, for a maximum of one hour.

Our house is situated near the woods in Hossegor, 2 km from the beach. We’re surrounded by nature and being able to take advantage of it daily, makes this period of confinement much more enjoyable than it would have been in the city.

How did you explain the situation to your children ?

Dévi : Back in February, a few mothers shared their concerns about the virus with the principal of the twins’ school, who took those concerns to heart, and informed the parents and children. When the government eventually announced that the schools and universities would be closed for a while, school informed the twins. So, they both knew about the virus, and the importance of washing their hands and avoiding hugs.

Right after Paris fashion week, Seb and I were supposed to go to Hossegor for a romantic weekend, the very last weekend before France went on lockdown. We hardly go on romantic getaways because of the twins. But since we’re getting married in Hossegor this summer, we were like, let’s go, and check out some places and budgets and start organising. So, we took the plane on Saturday morning, thinking that we would fly back to Paris the next day for the twins, whom we left with the nanny. But after the announcement was made that the schools and universities would be closed after the weekend, I didn’t have a good feeling about what was about to come. When Seb's parents called us, to tell us that they would be leaving the city, to go to the Bordeaux region, I immediately decided to have the twins travel with them to Bordeaux, where Seb and I could pick them up. I then very last minute, had to inform the nanny to pack their suitcases, and send them off with their grandparents. It was all a bit rushed and unexpected for them. However, that same day the prime minister confirmed that starting on Tuesday March 17th, France would go on complete lock down.

Kalani obviously knew about the virus. We urged him to come join us, and bring as much as possible, including our laptops. And luckily he managed to catch a train a few days later. He wasn't really happy to leave his Paris life though. And it took him a few days to stop complaining about it, and enjoy the privilege of spending this lockdown away from the city.

Since they are no longer going to school, did you manage to keep your normal daily routine, like waking them up, and putting them to bed at the same time during the week? Or do you just go with the flow ?

Dévi : France went under lock down when the twins were still supposed to be going to school. So, I immediately made a planning for them to keep a certain routine ; Every morning during the week, we get up at 8 - 8.30 am and we start doing homework at 9.30 - 10 am latest. They are six years old and both in first grade but in different classes, and because of that they have different assignments. So, Seb works with Moana, and I work with Malia. We spend about one and a half hour in the morning doing homework with them, and one and a half hour in the afternoon. During the current spring holidays they don't have homework, but we still get up around 9 am, 9.30 am.

Kalani is currently studying at Atelier de Sèvres, and obviously gets up, and works according to his own planning.

Do they have virtual school classes? And if so, how often ?

Dévi : No, the twins get their homework assignments through an online platform. And Kalani is participating in several entrance exams online.

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Are you worried about the twins getting behind at school ?

Dévi : No, not really. We keep to the schedule. And we bought a lot of books for them to read.

Do you still go out with them from time to time? If so, where to and how often ?

Dévi : We go on daily walks in the woods behind the house or on bike tours.

And are there any activities you do at home to assure that the kids release enough physical energy to not drive you bonkers ?

Dévi : We are blessed to have a swimming pool in the garden. The twins just learned how to swim and ride their bikes here, so they're having the time of their lives! Kalani didn't bring his skateboard, which he really regrets, but with the swimming pool and the woods just behind our house, he is okay, I guess.

Do they normally have extracurricular activities ? And if so, how do they keep up with those ?

Dévi : In Paris Moana plays soccer, and Malia takes classical dance classes. Kalani skates a lot, and sings in a band. And like Seb and me, he normally surfs here. But because of the lock down all these activities are put on hold for the moment.

Are there any new family activities you took up these last couple of weeks ?

Dévi : In Paris we're always busy. I'm a show producer, Sebastien manages Totem Fashion. Kalani is 19, and lives very much his own life. So, we don't spend as much time together in Paris as I would like to. When Seb comes home after a long day at work, he often finds me stuck behind my laptop, still working. But here in Hossegor, because of the slower pace, we finally have time to truly connect with each other. We eat together every day for example, which is really nice, but much harder to do in Paris because of our work. And Kalani plays a lot with the little ones here, which he hardly does in Paris, because of the 13 year age difference. All this time together is lovely, really.

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Any new activities you took up with Sebastien, or things you find yourself doing much more together since this lock down started ?

Dévi : Tiara it's amazing! In Paris I never ever cook. I didn't even know how to cook. We have a nanny who cooks for the children, and Seb and I normally warm up a soup, or get some take away when we get home after a day of work. Since the lockdown I discovered the joy of cooking! Especially cooking with fresh products, which makes all the difference. Everything, from tomatoes to meat, it's all so fresh here. We're getting our produce directly from the farmers and I love it! I'm very much into making meals with lots of vegetables, and Sebastien bakes cakes, pancakes and cookies with the twins. Even Kalani made a fruit salad the other day.

And any activities you discovered or rediscovered for yourself ?

Dévi : Yoga!

Speaking of Sebastien and you, how are you doing as a couple under these restricted circumstances ?

Dévi : It’s all about the kids. We organize our days around them. When Seb works, I take care of the kids. And when I work, or work out, he spends time with them. We’re quite organized, and try to keep to the planning I made, as much as possible.

How do you both cope with irritations and frustrations being together 24/7 ?

Dévi : As a couple we never really argue. We have our daily little things, say family logistics. But we discuss it and solve it. My biggest frustration is not being able to go to the sea and surf. I asked Seb the other day to drive me there. We took a risk being fined, but I just needed to spend a few minutes on the beach.

And how do you keep the romance alive ?

Dévi : To be honest, we don’t have a lot of alone time, since this lockdown, and as a result there isn’t a lot of romance going on. We normally keep it alive, by going on romantic getaways without the children.

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I don't know if you normally have help. But since this pandemic started and the staying at home, does everyone in your household participate in the house chores, or are you doing all those chores by yourself ?

Dévi : Seb works every day, and apart from helping the kids with homework, and swimming with them, I pretty much take care of all the house chores. Which I really don't mind, because I have too much energy. To me, cleaning and tidying up is another way of channeling that energy.

As mothers we're always looking for that perfect balance between being a mother, a professional, a friend, a lover, a woman. How have you been keeping yourself in balance with the children and your husband being at home 24/7 ?

Dévi : During this lockdown, everything is out of balance for everyone, I suppose. Work, social life, romance. But I’m okay with it for now. I’m enjoying my family as much as possible.

Are there things you normally do to keep mentally healthy and continue doing during this quarantine situation ?

Dévi : Working out! I’m one of those people with too much energy, who really needs to work out daily to feel good. I love that extra endorphin boost! Oh, and I recently discovered yoga, and Toyboarding!

How do you maintain your social life? Are you one of those people who virtually hangs out with a group of friends on a regular basis ?

Dévi : I'm not someone who normally goes out a lot. I have a few girlfriends, who I see from time to time for a drink. Since the lockdown we sometimes hang out virtually. Not regularly. But sometimes.

And how about the children, are they in daily or regular contact with their friends and class mates through Facetime ?

Dévi : Their teachers organize weekly get togethers through Facetime so they can catch up with their friends and class mates. We're not in direct contact with the parents of their classmates, because we just moved from one arrondissement to another. The one where we used to live was very residential and so the parents were all friends. It's completely the opposite to where we live now, in the 8th, which isn't a residential area at all. So, it will take a bit more time probably, to get to know the parents.

I guess, Kalani stays in touch with all his friends through Facetime, and social media, like every other 19 year old.

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Do you speak or Facetime more often with your family these days ?

Dévi : I'm quite family oriented, so I regularly stay in touch with them through phone and Facetime, with both my family in France as well as in L.A. The other day we even organized a bake off on Facetime. So much fun!

What do you think will you be doing differently as a family, when this pandemic is finally over ?

Dévi : Cooking and eating more healthy like we do now, is something I'd really like to continue after all this is over. Maybe change my career and live here full time, an idea I’ve been playing with for a while…

And what things, do you think, will you be doing differently for yourself ?

Dévi : Being confined together as a family here in Hossegor, the change of pace, being able to enjoy each other, enjoy nature, discovering cooking with fresh products, put everything into perspective for me. I started to seriously question my career in fashion, and my life in Paris. I love fashion, don't get me wrong. For more than 10 years, I've been producing shows for the likes of Vivienne Westwood et tout, but city life is fast, too fast. To a point where it frustrates me. I will be 45 this year, and since the lockdown, I truly feel that I want to settle down, and put my well-being first. I want to feel the earth beneath my feet. I want to eat fresh products. I want to be closer to nature. Closer to people. All that. My dream would be, to have a food truck here, although I'm not a good enough chef yet. But I would love that. I will always love fashion, but I came to realize that in the grand scheme of things, it's not really adding any value, and that's where the questioning starts. I this what I want from life ? My brother for example, he works for “Doctors without Borders”. He's currently saving lives in Israel, and every time I talk to him, I always think how superficial my work is. How I'm just selling dreams. Air. This wanting to be more in tune with nature, might be the next chapter…

Did this period reveal any personal strengths or weaknesses you weren't aware of before ?

Dévi : Yes, that it’s definitely a weakness, that we’re both very bad in painting and gardening. Bad in manual tasks in general. Which obviously is a disadvantage living in the country side or on the seaside.

Our strength, I discovered, truly lies in our solidarity as a family. We hardly argue. Which makes being confined together quite pleasant.

And what about Sebastien, are there any new things you discovered about him ? Positive or negative ?

Dévi : I never expected him to continue to work as hard here, as he does in Paris. It's crazy really. He's like a machine. But I also discovered, well I already knew, but to what point he loves spending time with the children, and how great he is in explaining and teaching them new things!

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You are a Paris based luxury event and fashion show producer. Did you have to put your work on hold or are you still professionally active ?

Dévi : I obviously had to put a big part of my job on hold, because of all the upcoming fashion shows and luxury events being cancelled.

Times like this can be hugely exciting for entrepreneurs, because it forces you to look into new possibilities, and be innovative. Are you one of those entrepreneurs who gets excited about challenging times like this ?

If so, are you focussing some of your time on finding new ways to exercise your job, in case this quarantine situation is going to be prolonged ?

And if not, and you're one of those entrepreneurs who gets anxious during trying times, how do you stay calm, and stay focussed ?

Dévi : This pandemic put most of the fashion industry on hold. Especially my field. All the upcoming fashion shows and luxury events have been canceled. And whether it will pick up in time for the September shows is still unsure. As a result I am forced to look into new opportunities. But because I was already playing with the idea before all this happened, I've quite a positive attitude toward the future.

While community in any area of life is important, surrounding yourself by other entrepreneurs, tends to be helpful and reassuring, especially for solo female entrepreneurs. Do you have such community, and if so, do you regularly talk with your community about this situation ?

Dévi : I do. I used to have quite a circle of girlfriends who all work in the fashion industry. Recently one of them truly disappointed me, which kind of cut that circle in half. I'm still in touch with all of them personally, because we know each other forever. Professionally I have few very solid girls around me, whom I regularly keep in touch with.

And what are things that most of you are concerned about or busy with ?

Dévi : The possible changes in the industry, and how it will affect our work.

Are you anticipating the aftermath as an entrepreneur in terms of possible changing times ?

Dévi : This morning I received a phone call from one of my close friends, to see what we could do here in the Hossegor area. We're currently scanning for opportunities, so to say. I know I want change, but I'm not completely sure what direction I will take. On one hand I would love to open something small and do something with food. On the other hand, my friend and I are secretly working out a possible new venture in the fashion industry. But whatever happens, I'm sure I want change. I'm thinking about it every day.

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Are there any voluntary activities or initiatives you're involved in during these times? If so, tell me how ?

Dévi : No, I’m not. I donate financially. Every month to Doctors without borders. And recently to the French Hospitals initiative. I would love to be involved in voluntary work in Paris, but work takes up so much time… If there are any volunteers needed in the Hossegor area, I’m interested!

Are there things you've discovered you could easily do without ?

Dévi : City life probably. In addition to what I mentioned before, about why I love life here, there is a true sense of togetherness. The neighbors are so lovely, so generous and helpful. Everyone knows each other, it’s like a little village. You can really feel that energy, that sense of solidarity. I miss that in Paris.

And things you couldn't do without ?

Dévi : My laptop! It’s my connection to the outside world; work, news, my family, and friends. But I also use it to work out with my online coach.

Do you have any questions for other mothers and female entrepreneurs in quarantine? Or any tips maybe you would like to share ?

Dévi : Tips. I think as entrepreneurs, we should take advantage of this period, and do all the things we normally don’t have time for. Like enjoying the children, and spending as much time as possible with them; taking the time to read, cuddle, and cook together. But also taking care of our selves ; doing yoga, reading books, and taking time for beauty routines we normally skip.

Are there any online or local female entrepreneurs you would like to give a shout out to ?

Dévi : Yes! To my dear friend Maud Jacob. She works in the fashion and luxury industry as an independent consultant for Lambert & Associates. She’s married to a former professional skater, and the mother of two teenagers. Maud is the ultimate Parisian! She knows all the new trendy bars, the concerts to go to, the shops to know… I’ve known her for 20 years!

And my friend Marianne Guedin. She is an extremely talented flower set designer, who creates the most beautiful flower arrangements for fashion shows and luxury events. She radiates positivity and has an abundance of creative ideas!

What quote, saying or word(s) would best describe this lockdown ?

Dévi : Holidays! … Because I’m spending quality time with my family away from the city, I’m enjoying it. But I fully realise that we are extremely privileged to be able to experience this lockdown the way we do.